Peter is relaxing after work one day in a bar on the top floor of a New York skyscraper. While he’s sipping his drink, another man approaches him. He looks like an average guy; suit, tie, glasses, and he’s pretty drunk.

“Hey,” says the guy. “I’ll give you fifty dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.” The man points to an open window not far off.

Peter looks at the man like he’s crazy. “No thanks, I think I’ll just sit and enjoy my drink.” The man shrugs and wanders off.

About 30 minutes later, the man returns. Now he’s even more drunk; his tie has been loosened, his hat is gone, and he’s starting to slur. “Hey,” he says. “I’ll give you…five hunnert dollars to jump out that window and jump back in.”

Now Peter is getting irritated. “No, please leave me alone.” The man shrugs and wanders off again.

Twenty minutes later, the man returns yet again. Now he’s REALLY drunk; his glasses are broken, there’s a burn hole in his suit, and he’s wearing his tie around his head. “Hey, I’ll giff you five…hic…..THOUSAND dollerz to jub’ out ‘at window…..and jum’ baggin.”

Now Peter is mad, and just wants to get rid of this drunkard. “Tell you what,” he says. “You do it first and I’ll do it for free.”

The drunk man thinks for a second, and then stumbles over to the window, jumps out and jumps back in. Shocked, Peter thinks to himself, “If this drunk asshole can do it, surely I can.” So Peter walks over to the window, takes a deep breath, and jumps out the window. He quickly falls to his death.

The drunk man is standing by the bar, chuckling to himself. The bartender looks at him and says “You sure are a dick when you’re drunk, Superman.”

sahilBar Jokes31 Oct, 2009No Comments

An Irishman walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, “What’ll you have?”

The man says, “Give me three pints of Guinness please.”

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they’re gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, “Sir, you don’t have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I’ll bring you a fresh cold one.”

The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we’re drinking together.”

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.

Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, “I know what your tradition is, and I’d just like to say that I’m sorry that one of your brothers died.”

The man said, “Oh, me brothers are fine — I just quit drinking.”

sahilBar Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

“Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a ‘Breathalyzer’?” asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.

“Well, I’d have to say that it’s just an old bag that tells you when you’ve drunk way too much,” answered the equally wasted gent.

“Ah hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years!”

sahilBar Jokes13 Jul, 2009No Comments

Two weasels (very drunk) are sitting at a
bar the first one says I SLEPT WITH

YOUR MOTHER the second weasel

smacked his head and said hey dad lets

go home I think you“ve had too much to.

sahilBar Jokes10 Jul, 2009No Comments

One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says “if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night”.

So he says “ok” and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.

The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says “if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.

So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.

The man says “To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him”.

sahilBar Jokes4 Jul, 2009No Comments

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the bartender, “Give me six double vodkas.”
The barman says “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

“Yeah, my wife…”

sahilBar Jokes13 Jun, 2009No Comments