Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work, particularly which types of patients they’d had the best experiences with.

The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”

The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”

The third said, “I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”

The fourth one said, “I like to operate on lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and asses are interchangeable.”

sahilLawyer Jokes31 Oct, 2009No Comments

There was a job opening in the country’s most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It’s up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks, “Why did you become a lawyer?

Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview. “I don’t understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I’d lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?”

“I said I became a lawyer because of my hands,” Paul replies.

“Your hands? What do you mean?”

“Well, I took a look one day and there wasn’t any money in either of them!”

sahilLawyer Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

“Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week.”

“That’s very fair, your honor,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

sahilLawyer Jokes15 Jun, 2009No Comments

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three
engineers buy only a single ticket.
”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked one of
the
three lawyers.
”Watch and you’ll see,” answers one of the engineers.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all
three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, ”Ticket, please”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers saw this and agreed it was
quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy
the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the
station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment,
the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.
”How are you going to travel without a ticket,” asks one perplexed lawyer.
”Watch and you’ll see,” says one of the engineers.When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the
three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over
to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding He knocks on the door and says,
”Ticket, please.”

sahilLawyer Jokes13 Jun, 2009No Comments