Phone call to the ambulance:
- Sister, come ASAP!!! Now I have very high…
- What? Temperature?
- No, …
- Acidity?
- No!…
- Excitability?
- No… Hey, I remembered!!! POTENTION!
Aug
5
sahil
5 Aug, 2011
Aug
4
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realises the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m referring to?”
“You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea.”
The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake.”
Aug
3
- Why stomatologists recommend WRIGLEY?
- Doing so, they have more clients!
Aug
1
- Doctor! Which mushrooms can you eat?
- All of them. There are just some you can only eat once.
Jul
31
A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.
She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with me, Doctor?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you one thing… there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”
Jul
31
A secretary walked into her boss’s office & said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.”
“Why do you always have to give me bad news?” he complained.
“Tell me some good news for once.”
“Alright, here’s some good news,” said the secretary.
“You’re not sterile.”
Jul
29
A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room.
He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.
Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.
The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing.
The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”
The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.
Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.”
The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2′s face is going all red.
The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”
Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”
Jul
28
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what’s up.
“He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn’t find the cough syrup,” the clerk explains. “So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once.”
“Laxatives won’t cure a cough, you idiot,” the owner shouts angrily.
“Sure it will,” the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. “Look at him. He’s afraid to cough.”
Jun
7
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”"I know, but can’t you give me some idea?,” she asks.”Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”"Like this?”"A little more…”"Like this?”"No. A little more…”"Like this?”"Yes. Does that hurt?”"A little bit.”"Now stretch it over your head!”
Jun
6
Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, “I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, “Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.