Daily Jokes Comedy Funny Humor » Blonde Jokes

Dangerous Blow Job

sahil — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 11:11:37 +0000

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator’s open mouth.

The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of it’s head.

The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genital, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer.

“I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blonde woman timidly spoke up, “I’ll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.”

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The Blind Man

sahil — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:46:20 +0000

On a hot summer day, two nuns – both young, blonde and beautiful — are working in the church library putting away books. After working feverishly to get the job done, the first nun turns to the second and says, “I can’t take this heat anymore! Do you think it would be all right if we removed our shirts to cool off while we worked?”

The second nun, feeling the heat herself, decides that it would be acceptable since no one else was present. She locked the door and closed the curtains, and then the two nuns removed their shirts and kept working. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” asks the first nun.

“It’s the blind man,” says the voice behind the door.

“Well, a blind man can’t see our nakedness. We can let him in,” the other nun says, and opens the door.

“Wow!” says the blind man, “Nice tits! I gotta run back to the truck. Where do you want me to install these blinds?”

Dangerous Blow Job A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator...

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Smart Blonde

sahil — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:10:48 +0000

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “what is 1 and 1?”
“Eleven,” she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but she’s right.” “What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?”

“Today and tomorrow.”

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

“Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”

Dangerous Blow Job A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator...
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Dumbest blonde ever

sahil — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:36:46 +0000

One day a Blonde was tired of hearing blonde jokes so she said “I’m going to commite suicide”. So the next day she is hangin from her feet on a tree and two guys come walkin buy and ask what shes doing she said im trying to kill myself and they said well why dont you hang yourself by the neck she replied “I tried that I cant breath”!

The Blind Man On a hot summer day, two nuns – both young,...

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