A farmer kept a donkey in a stable, but the donkey’s ears were so long that they repeatedly hit the top of the door, causing the animal to kick out dangerously. So the farmer decided to raise the height of the door frame.

He spent all day toiling away with his hacksaw. Seeing that he was struggling to complete the task, his neighbour suggested: “Instead of lifting the door frame, wouldn’t it be easier if you simply dug out the ground in the doorway and made it deeper?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” said the farmer. “It’s the donkey’s ears that are too long, not his legs!”

sahilAnimal Jokes19 Jun, 2011No Comments

Did you hear about the hyena what swallowed an Oxo cube? – He made a laughing stock of himself.

What happened when the lion ate the clown? – He felt funny.

Did you hear about the shepherd who drive his flock through town, and got a traffic ticket for making a ewe turn?

Two cows were talking in a field one day.

The first cow said: “Have you heard about the Mad Cow Disease that’s going around?”

The second cow said: “Yeah, makes you glad you’re a penguin, doesn’t it?”

How do you stop a pig from smelling? – Put a clothes peg on it’s nose.

If rhino horn is an aphrodisiac, why are rhinos nearly extinct?

What do you call a camel with a flat back? – Humphrey.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? – Because they have big fingers.

sahilAnimal Jokes19 Jun, 2011No Comments

The professor and his wife were doubtful about returning to the farm on which they had passed the previous summer, because they had been somewhat annoyed by the proximity of the pigsty to the house.

Finally, the professor wrote to the farmer and explained the objectionable feature. He received the following reply:

“We hain’t had no hogs on the place since you was here last summer. Be sure to come.”

sahilAnimal Jokes17 Jun, 2011No Comments

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.”The other cow replies, “I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks.”

sahilAnimal Jokes6 May, 2011No Comments

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.Purrson: A male kitty.Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

sahilAnimal Jokes5 May, 2011No Comments

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.Purrson: A male kitty.Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

sahilAnimal Jokes4 May, 2011No Comments

The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with. So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said “No, I can’t live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly.” “OK,” said the judge, “then you want to live with your mother, right?” “No way!” replied baby bear, “She beats me worse than Papa bear does.” The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. “Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?” asked the judge. “Yes,” answered baby bear, “my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.” “You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge. “Oh definitely,” said baby bear, “the Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.”

sahilAnimal Jokes3 May, 2011No Comments

This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.Well, one day we got a service call that said, “Cat caught in machine, come quick!”When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.

sahilAnimal Jokes2 May, 2011No Comments

For all animal lovers out there:

How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

and…

How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…

sahilAnimal Jokes17 Feb, 2011No Comments

What’s the difference between a bull and a cow?

A bull smiles when you milk it.

sahilAnimal Jokes15 Feb, 2011No Comments