A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.”

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

sahilBlonde Jokes21 Sep, 2011No Comments

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. “S’cuse me”, said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, “what was that all about?”

“Nothin”, said the Irishman, “me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!”

sahilBar Jokes21 Sep, 2011No Comments

A blonde says to a salesman, “I’m not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker.”

He says, “Well, that depends. Are you gonna sweat, or are you gonna break wind?”

sahilBlonde Jokes19 Sep, 2011No Comments

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend, he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?”

“My mother died in June, and left me $10,000.” said the friend. “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $50,000.” The man looking concerned says, “Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.” The friend continues, “And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000.” “Three close family members lost in three months??? How sad!!!”

“Then this month,…” continued, the friend, “Nothing! Not a single dime!”

sahilBar Jokes19 Sep, 2011No Comments

A very flat-chested Blond finally decided she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale department store and approached the saleslady in lingerie, “Do you have a size 28AAAA bra??”

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to Wal-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, “Do you have anything for this??”

The lady looked closely at her and replied, “Have you tried Clearasil??”

sahilBlonde Jokes19 Sep, 2011No Comments

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.”

The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

“Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay.”

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!”

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, “Yeah, my wife!”

sahilBar Jokes19 Sep, 2011No Comments

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey. Mom then re-stuffed the turkey and placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! Yep………………SHE’S BLONDE!

sahilBlonde Jokes17 Sep, 2011No Comments

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles per year.

Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud to be an American.

sahilBar Jokes17 Sep, 2011No Comments

Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer!

sahilRedneck Jokes13 Sep, 2011No Comments

A commander announces:
- The platoon has been assigned to unload luminum
- Aluminum, not luminum, corrects a trooper.
- The platoon is going to unload luminum, repeats comander, – and the intellectual here is going to load shit.

sahilMilitary Jokes13 Sep, 2011No Comments