A man just got out of surgery and was still in the hospital lying in bed with a breathing machine attached to his mouth. A nurse walks in and checks the breathing machine and makes sure every thing is functioning correctly.

The man says, “Excuse me, nurse. Are my testicles black?”

The nurse looks confused and says, “Excuse me?”

The man says again, “Are my testicles black?”

So the nurse pulls down the covers of the bed, lifts the man’s hospital gown and carefully inspects his testicles. When she’s done she says, “Nothing seems to be wrong with them and they’re definitely not black.”

The man smiles, pulls the breathing machine away from his mouth and says, “Thank you, that was nice, but I was asking ‘Are my test results back?’”

sahilMedical Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

There was a job opening in the country’s most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.

Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It’s up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each candidate aside and asks, “Why did you become a lawyer?

Only seconds after talking to them both, he chooses Paul.

Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside after the interview. “I don’t understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I’d lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?”

“I said I became a lawyer because of my hands,” Paul replies.

“Your hands? What do you mean?”

“Well, I took a look one day and there wasn’t any money in either of them!”

sahilLawyer Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

An Irishman walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, “What’ll you have?”

The man says, “Give me three pints of Guinness please.”

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they’re gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, “Sir, you don’t have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I’ll bring you a fresh cold one.”

The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we’re drinking together.”

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers.

Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, “I know what your tradition is, and I’d just like to say that I’m sorry that one of your brothers died.”

The man said, “Oh, me brothers are fine — I just quit drinking.”

sahilBar Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

A man has been visiting Cuba for a week. He’s leaving the next day and still hasn’t tried much of the local food, so he goes to a restaurant and sits down to order. He notices the guy next to him eating a delicious-looking meal.

Calling over the waiter he asks for the same meal as that man, but the waiter informs him that there’s none left. He asks him what it is and the waiter replies, “Those are the testicles of the bull that lost the fight earlier in the day, if you come back tomorrow we’ll save the dish for you.”

So the man extends his trip for another day and goes back the following afternoon and the waiter has his food prepared for him. He eats the meal and calls the waiter over. “That meal was delicious; the only thing is, it seems to be a lot smaller than the meal the other man at yesterday.”

“Ah, well, I’m sorry sir, but sometimes the bull wins.”

sahilAnimal Jokes29 Oct, 2009No Comments

“Shhaaayyy, buddy, what’s a ‘Breathalyzer’?” asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool.

“Well, I’d have to say that it’s just an old bag that tells you when you’ve drunk way too much,” answered the equally wasted gent.

“Ah hell, whaddya know? I’ve been married to one of those for years!”

sahilBar Jokes13 Jul, 2009No Comments

There was this farmer who had an old rooster named Brewster, and Brewster could mate with any animal, he didn’t care which. Every morning the farmer would get up and feed all his animals, and every morning he would warn Brewster that someday it would catch up to the old rooster. Sure enough, one morning the farmer got up to feed the chickens, and there was old Brewster lying face up on the ground with buzzards circling overhead. The farmer sighed and said, “Ah, Brewster, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Brewster opened one eye slowly and said, “Shhh, I think one of ‘em’s about to land.”

sahilAnimal Jokes13 Jul, 2009No Comments