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If You’re A Bear

If you’re a bear

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

I wanna be a bear.

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  1. Grizzly Bear Warning The Alaska Department of Fish and Game recently issued this...
  2. Bear with no socks What do you call a bear with no socks on?...
  3. Devout Catholic Joke Maria is a devout Catholic. (No condoms for her!) She...
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