Clinton died and went to heaven-or to be more accurate
-approached the Pearly Gates. After knocking at the
gates, St. Peter appeared.
“Who goes there?” inquired St. Peter.

“It’s me, Bill Clinton”

“And what do you want?” asked St. Peter.

“Lemme in!” replied Clinton.

“Soooo,” pondered Peter. “What bad things did you do on
earth?”

Clinton thought a bit and answered, “Well, I smoked marijuana
but you shouldn’t hold that against me because I didn’t inhale.
I guess I had extra-marital sex — but you shouldn’t hold that
against me because I didn’t really have ’sexual relations.’
And I lied, but I didn’t commit perjury.”

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, “OK,
here’s the deal. We’ll send you someplace where it is very
hot, but we won’t call it ‘Hell.’ You’ll be there for an
indefinite period of time, but we won’t call it ‘eternity.’
And don’t ‘abandon all hope’ upon entering, just don’t hold
your breath waiting for it to freeze over.”

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