A study by a Canadian anthropologist demonstrated that 97 percent of women shut their eyes during a kiss but only 37 percent of men did.
The late actor Anthony Quinn had an explanation, “Many a husband kisses with his eyes wide open. He wants to make sure his wife is not around to catch him.”
Thee women are standing on one side of the river. A magic genie is there to help them across, andcan grant each one wish. The first one says “Genie, make me 1 thousand times smarter.” So she takes off her shoes and swims across. The second one says, “Genie, make me a million times smarter.” So she takes some wood, makes a boat, and rows across the river. The last one says “Genie, make me a billion times smarter.” So she turns into a man and walks across the bridge.
She’s sitting at the table enjoying her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the front of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
the perfect man and the perfect wemon are driving down the road and see santa clause hitch hiking the decide to pick him up. they are driving down the road and a semi cuts them off. in a brutal accident all die except for one person. who survived?
……scroll down
the man, cuase just like santa clause the perfect women doesnt exist.
God told Adam ” I could create you a partner, that will always adore you, serve you, never be angry and treat you as a King, the only problem is that you must give up an arn or an leg for it”
Adam “No way - what can I get for a rib!”
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive.
a bloke walks along the strand and finds a bottle lying on the ground. he kicks it and POOF…a geannie pops out. the bloke says “sweet…i get three wishes…the geannie says nah nah…the gods above r gettin annoyed wit all these wishes n inflation and so on so u only get 1 wish. after minutes of thoughts the bloke says..”i want a bridge going from Townsville to magnetic island…u know..to make transport easier…the geannie says “u know how much material and terrestrial disturbance that would cause…choose another wish”. the bloke says…ok…i wanna know how to understand women…the geanie sits and thinks for a bit and says…”So did u want that to b a 2 lane or 4 lane bridge”?
The female always makes the rules.
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
——————————————————————————–
whats the differance between a women and a washing machine? A washing machine doesnt follow you round after you dump your load in it.
A Doctor and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.
The Doctor, clearly miffed, blurts to his wife, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” and stormed off to work.
By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone. “What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?”
“I was in bed.”
“What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?”
“I was getting a second opinion.”
admin
20 Oct, 2005