What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
Must be an earthquake!
Oct
25
admin
25 Oct, 2005
Oct
25
10) Who the hell Begets anymore?
9) Memo to Adam: Ditch the apples, try chocolate!
Saint Peter wouldn’t do the actual judging — he’d hire a temp.
7) Ten plagues and God never thought of daytime talk shows?
6) All this smiting and no one filed a suit against God?
5) “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy?” — GO FORTY-NINERS!
4) Why did Moses spend all his time parting seas when there are all those great legs out there?
3) How can you trust someone who turns water into wine?
2) Satan provides free heating, work for everyone, never evicts you and doesn’t give a damn about your credit rating. This is bad HOW?
1.) Out with “Into the ark, two by two,” in with Jerry Springer love triangles!
Oct
25
What do you get when you run over a parakeet with a lawnmower?
Shredded tweet!
Oct
25
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A. Because he was pissed off!
Oct
25
Have you heard about Ron Howard’s new movie — a travel documentary about the Netherlands?
It’s called ”Mr. Opie’s Holland.”
Oct
25
Q: How can you make a very lively hankerchief?
A: Put a little boogey in it
Oct
25
If ugliness was a record, yo mama would go triple platinum.
Oct
25
A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for a rake and can’t find it. He yells up to his wife, but she motions to him from the window like she can’t hear. So he points to his eye, hits his knee, and then makes raking motions. (”I need the rake.”) She replies by pointing to her eye , grabbing her left breast, slaps her ass, then rubs her crotch. The man is confused and runs upstairs.
“What? What was that?”
“Eye, left tit, behind, the bush.”
Oct
25
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.
Oct
25
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.