A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been ‘called home to glory’ following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I’ve Arrived!
I’ve just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

Shelly

sahilTravel Jokes25 Jul, 2007No Comments

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.”

The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. “Well, did you see this?”

“Yes,” motioned the monkey.

“What happened?”

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
“They were drinking?” asked the officer.

“Yes!” the monkey motioned.

“What else?”

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”

“Yes.” the monkey confirmed.

“What else?”

The monkey motioned “Screwing.”

“They were screwing, too?” asked the astounded officer.

“Yes.”

“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.”

“Yes.”

“What were you doing during all this?”

“Driving” motioned the monkey.

sahilTravel Jokes22 Jul, 2007No Comments

An Englishwoman and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As they were driving through a rather seedy looking part of town, the boy became fascinated by the garishly made up women in short skirts and high heels who seemed to be accosting some of the men passing by.

“Mummy” the boy asked, “what are those ladies doing?”

The mother, clearly embarassed by the question, replied: “I expect they’re lost and are asking people for directions”

The taxi driver overhead this and interrupted: “why not tell me boy the truth, those women are prostitutes.”

The mother blushed more brightly at this remark but the boy wouldn’t let it go:

“What are prostitutes Mummy, are they like other women, do they have children too?”

“Of course” the mother replied, “that’s where New York taxi drivers come from.”

sahilTravel Jokes18 Jul, 2007No Comments

In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet.

As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse.

They angrily look one at the other.

Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading.

The other one politely asks, “When you’ve finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?”

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.

Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They were walking through a mountain valley that was strewn with rocks, and the traveler asked, “How did these rocks get here?”

“Sir,” said the guide, “they were brought down by a glacier.”

The tourist peered up the mountain and said, “But I don’t see any glacier.”

“Oh, really?” said the guide. “I guess it has gone back for more rocks.”

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. “Aaah!” he said. “We’re right over my homeland.”

“How can you tell?” asked the American.

“I can feel the cold air.” he replied.

A few hours later the African man put his hand through the clouds. “Aah we’re right over my homeland.” he said.

“How do you know that?” asked the Russian. “I can feel the heat of the desert.”

Several more hours later the American put his hand through the clouds. “Aah, we’re right over New York.”

The Russian and the African were amazed. “How do you know all of that?” they exclaimed.

The American pulled his hand up. “My watch is missing.”

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight.

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

“Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.”

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, “Wow! It just missed the highway!”

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando.

“When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.”

“If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you.”

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

Seen on the back of a van in Rochester, New York:

Caution: Blind Man Driving

On the side of the van (after passing it to see who might be driving):

Rochester Venetian Blind Co.

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments

Seen on rear mud-flaps of a large truck

left mud-flap right mud-flap

Passing Side Suicide
/| |\
/ —— —— \
\ —— —— /
\| |/
El Paso El Cruncho
(spanish) (spanish)

adminTravel Jokes24 Oct, 2005No Comments