13> Driving your fellow Congressman into the turnbuckle now considered acceptable method of ending a filibuster.

12> President now shouts entire State of the Union address with his face 18 inches from TV camera.

11> IRS audit replaced by more efficient reverse body slam onto enema.

10> Government becomes a charade of meaningless noises and lots of posturing by a bunch of inarticulate losers with no class or manners– Hey, wait a minute…

9> Free school lunches destined for the needy instead go to the biggest, meanest, stupidest kid in each school.

8> Sex scandals now involve even skankier women.

7> January 20: Inauguration ceremonies January 21: FDA approves over-the-counter sale of steroids.

6> Newt Gingrich is finally able to wear his mask and cape out of the house.

5> During House debate, it is acceptable to yield to the gentleman wielding a folding chair.

4> Difficult finding interns willing to accommodate an entire pouch of Skoal.

3> Strom Thurmond *finally* removed by The Undertaker.

2> Line to bodyslam Ken Starr winds around Lincoln Memorial.

1> Before: Mr. Vice President After: Stone Cold Cheney

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?

A milkdud!

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

How can you pick out Dolly Parton’s kids on the play ground?
They’re the ones with the stretch marks around their lips!

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

10) When people go the speed limit in the fast lane

9) When you just can’t seem to get a green light when you’re in a hurry.

When the police speed in regular traffic, but go the speed limit in emergencies.

7) When police or firemen turn their sirens and lights on just to get past the red light.

6) When their is nothing in the fridge when you’re hungry, but when you’re full, so is the fridge.

5) When, on the toilet, you go to reach for the toilet paper and….

4) Bob Costas.

3) When the gas prices go up in the summer when you need to use the A/C.

2) When the police pull you over, and you realize you forgot to take the reefer out of your ashtray.

1) When you go to pull the trigger to save your own life, and the gun just goes ”click.”’

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

Q: What did George W. Bush get on his S.A.T.’s?
A: Drool.

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

Yo Mama is so fat, that when she dances, the band skips!

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: ”Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: ”Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.”

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. ”Where are you?” the man asked. ”Who are you?”

”I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.

”Oh yeah?” the man asked… ”And where the hell were you when I got married?”

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

One day at the rest home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says, “I can guess your age.”
The man doesn’t believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.

“Pull down your pants,” she says.

He doesn’t understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, “You’re 84 years old.”

“That’s amazing,” the man says. “How did you know?”

“You told me yesterday.”

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

One day in summer, Jack was going to visit his friend John. We he got to his house, he saw John, who was dressed in his warmest winter coats.
“What are you doing? Are you nuts? It’s the middle of summer!” cried Jack.

“I am painting my house. And on the can, it says you must put two coats on.”

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

Yo mama is so stupid she tripped over the cord on a cell phone.

adminTechnology Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments