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Learn Chinese

sahil — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:21:34 +0000

A golfer had a very important golf competition coming up and for good luck, he would always take a prostitute up to his room. So he went out and grabbed up a Chinese woman standing on the corner. He began to think that he had done really good because she had been squealing the entire time something in Chinese. The next night, for extra luck, he took the same one home, and humped her all night. He knew he must’ve done even better, because she had yelled the same thing louder than ever. So the next day, after the man had hit a whole in one, he began to jump up and down gleefully shouting the same thing the prostitute had. After exchanging a few puzzling looks, a man came up to him and asked, “What do you mean ‘wrong hole’?”

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Tiger woods in bed

sahil — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:28:07 +0000

On their wedding night the new couple are just about to do the deed when the wife tells her new husband that she has a confession.
“I lied when I told you I was a virgin. I have been with one other man” she tells her new hubby.

The new husband asks if it was anyone he knows?.
The wife answers …well maybe!

Husband asks who it was.
The wife answers – it was Tiger Woods.

Since the only other person his new bride every slept with was the famous Tiger Woods, he’s not at all upset and they get down to it and do the honeymoon “thing”. When finished, the husband gets out of bed and reaches for the telephone.

“What are you doing?” asked his bride.
“I’m calling for room service. After all that work I’m hungry!”

The wife says, “Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Really! Just what would TIGER do?” says the husband.

Well we would do it again!

Ok says the husband and jumps into the bed.
This same thing happens two more times,after which the guy is pretty tired.

So he drags himself out of bed and gets to the telephone.
The wife says..you’re not calling room service are you!!!!
“NO, says the exhausted hubby”!
“Well who are you calling then, she asks.”

I’m calling Tiger Woods…
I want to see what par is for this hole!

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Four Putting Golf Jokes

sahil — Mon, 11 May 2009 09:38:25 +0000

What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation? You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will happen again! No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin. No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

A Day At the Track

sahil — Sun, 10 May 2009 02:52:01 +0000

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men’s room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one; holding onto their “weewees” to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, “You must be a 5th grader.”

“No, ma’am,” he replied, “I’m the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the 4th, but thanks for the lift!!

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And That’s The Other Thing Coach..

sahil — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:22:29 +0000

The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids to help them out a bit. The team’s performance soars.

They win the county and state championships and are favored to win the national competition easily.

Penelope, a sixteen year old hurdler visits her coach and says, “Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest.”

“What?” the coach says in a panic, “How far down does the hair go?”

She replies, “All the way down to my balls and that’s the second thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

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Florida Golf

sahil — Wed, 06 May 2009 02:00:52 +0000

A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida which will replace the traditional call of “FORE”.

Once a player has hit an errant shot he will be allowed to call “GORE” while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again. The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first place. This will cause the time of play to be extended until such time the player can claim the hole.

This revision is causing some consternation to the PGA but proponents say it is only fair. A recent test of this new rule was played out in an exclusive club in Palm Beach County, Florida and the first hole only took 7 days to complete!!!!

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Luck Of The Irish

sahil — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:11:43 +0000

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.

He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golfball lying right beside him. “Goodness,” says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.

Upon awaking, the little guy says, “Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes.”

The man says “I can’t take anything from you, I’m just glad I didn’t hurt you too badly,” and walks away.

Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says “Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I’ll give him the three things that I would want. I’ll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life.”

Well, a year goes past (as they often do in jokes like this) and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing.

The leprechaun says, “I’m fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?”

The golfer says, “It’s great! I hit under par every time.” The leprechaun says, “I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?” The golfer says, “Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill.”

The leprechaun smiles and says, “I did that for you. And might I ask

how your sex life is?” The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, “Well, maybe once or twice a week.” The leprechaun is floored and stammers, “Once or twice a week?” The golfer looks at him and says, “Well, that’s not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.”

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Aggie Nativity

sahil — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 05:33:09 +0000

How come Texas A&M couldn’t put on a nativity scene? Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin! No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin. No related posts. Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Where the Rocks Are

sahil — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:52:54 +0000

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.
“I’m thirsty,” said the first. “I’m gonna go get myself a Coke.” So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.
“Ooh, that looks good,” said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.
“You’re right,” said the third. “I think I’ll get one too.” He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock.
“Hey,” said the first clergyman to the second, “should we tell him where the rocks are?”

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Hack Golfer

sahil — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 05:12:48 +0000

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says, “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.”

The caddy looks back at him and says, “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”

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