A cowboy riding down a trail on his horse came upon a rattlesnake. The cowboy reached for his gun and was about to shoot him when the rattlesnake said, “Don’t shoot me. I am an enchanted rattlesnake. If you don’t shoot me I will give you three wishes.”

The cowboy said, “Okay, I would like to have a face just like Clark Gable. I would like to have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s. And I would like to have sexual equipment like this here horse I’m ridin’.”

The rattle snake said, “Done. When you get bacxk to the bunkhouse and look in the mirror, it will happen.”

The cowboy got on his horse and rode back to the bunkhouse. He looked in the mirror and saw a face just like Clark Gable staring at him. He ripped off his shirt and had rippling muscles. The he ripped off his pants, looked down and yelled, “I forgot I was riding the mare!”

sahilRedneck Jokes12 Feb, 2008No Comments

Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, “chickens.”
“Chickens, eh?” says one guy. “Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?”

“Heck,” says the guy with the bag, “iffin you guess right, I’ll give you both of ‘em.”

The other scratches his head and guesses, “Um… five?”

sahilRedneck Jokes11 Feb, 2008No Comments

You might be a redneck if you give Santa three pickled eggs and a cold one instead of cookies and milk.

sahilRedneck Jokes10 Feb, 2008No Comments

You might be a redneck if you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws!

sahilRedneck Jokes9 Feb, 2008No Comments

You might be a redneck if your senior prom had a daycare!

sahilRedneck Jokes8 Feb, 2008No Comments

Guns don’t kill people. Dumb-ass, shit-for-brains, rednecks with no jobs kill people.

sahilRedneck Jokes7 Feb, 2008No Comments

You might be a redneck if you had to remove your toothpick for the wedding pictures!

sahilRedneck Jokes6 Feb, 2008No Comments

You might be a redneck if you think subdivision is part of a math problem!

john.mason-smith@regulusgroup.com

sahilRedneck Jokes5 Feb, 2008No Comments

Q: Why do rednecks’ dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars…

sahilRedneck Jokes1 Feb, 2008No Comments

One day some fisherman caught tons of fish called tench. The fisherman couldn”t eat them all so they gave them to the Mayor of the town. The Mayor wasn”t sure what to do with them. Then he had an idea; he would have a fish-eating competition.

When they had the competition, there were two finalists: a man from a place called Fife, whose name was Mr. Hicks; and a man that was from Sweden, whose name is Sven.

So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench. No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn”t eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the competition. So Sven kept on eating and ended up eating nine of these tench fish.

The next day the headlines read: ONE TOOTH FREE FOR FIFE HICKS, SVEN ATE NINE TENCH!

sahilRedneck Jokes24 Jan, 2008No Comments