10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is “Bubba”.
4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.
3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
And, The Number One Way To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A
Computer…
The mouse is referred to as a “critter”.
What do you call foreplay in Alabama?
“Hey sis, you awake?”
You might be a redneck if the roof of your truck is higher than the roof of your house.
1) You’ve ever had to lug a paint can to the top of a water tower to defend your sister’s honor.
2) Your wife’s hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.
3) You go to your family reunion to pick up women.
4) Your richest relative buys a new house — and you have to help him take the wheels off it.
5) You think a six-pack and a bug zapper is quality entertainment.
6) Your family tree does not fork.
7) You’ve ever been too drunk to fish.
You’ve lost more than two teeth opening beer bottles.
9) You helped your cousin move his refrigerator — and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
10) You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You might be a redneck if you had to remove your toothpick for the wedding pictures!
You might be a redneck if you were conceived, born and taught on a pool table.
Q: Why do rednecks’ dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pat Buchanan answers this question: “To steal a job from a decent , hard-working American.”
Dr. Seuss answers this question: “Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why? It’s not been told.”
Grandpa answers this question: “In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”
And Colonel Sanders answers this question: “I missed one?”
Once there were two best friends, named Fred and DooDah. They were old fishing buddies, and one day headed out to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the lake, DooDah hooked a huge fish, which proceeded to pull him overboard, where he drowned a horrible watery death. Fred was brokenhearted, since DooDah was his best friend. But sad as he was, he realized that he would have to tell DooDah’s wife the terrible news. He thought long and hard, but just couldn’t think of the right words. Finally, he took a deep breath and knocked on her door. DooDah’s wife opened the door and heard Fred start singing:
“Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!”
What does a redneck girl and the Unabomber have in common?
They’ve both been fingered by their brothers.
sahil
3 Nov, 2009