jokesdot.com

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

My son, Mike, a kindergartner, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom have been displayed for all to see.

Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. “Mom? How do you spell ‘zilla?’”

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

“Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it.”

While watching my six-year-old daughter play with her cars and trucks, I prided myself on having raised her to play outside the confines of gender restrictions that had always frustrated me as a child. Beaming, I asked her about her game.

“Well,” she answered innocently, “the big truck is the daddy, this car is the mommy, and the little car is the baby.”

When a little girl named Amanda was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Kevin, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end.

Kevin got to spend the night.

A woman brought her 4-month-old baby to visit her neighbor. The baby began to fuss soon after they arrived.
The 5-year-old son of the neighbor she visited said, “Where did you get him?”

As the infant continued to cry and yell, the little boy said, “I bet I know why he was sent from Heaven. God wanted it quiet up there!”

Seeing her two sons fighting over the last piece of pizza the mother said,
“You boys should be acting more like Jesus, if He were here He would give His brother the last piece”

The older brother looked at his younger sibling and said,
“Marty, you be Jesus”

My wife told our 5 year old to put on clean underwear everyday, and he did just as he was told.
At the end of the week, he had on 7 pairs.

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”