Before going to Europe on business, a lawyer drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. “Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce”, the lawyer said.

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank’s underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the lawyer walked through the bank’s doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. “That will be $5,000 in principal, and $20.30 in Interest”, the loan officer said. The lawyer wrote out a check and started to walk away.

“Wait sir”, the loan officer said, “while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?”

The lawyer smiled. “Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $20.30?

sahilLawyer Jokes12 Jul, 2008No Comments

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called the lawyer up.

“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $400,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no.”

“–or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stuttered an apology but was interrupted,

“–or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her broke with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: “So, if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!!

sahilLawyer Jokes10 Jul, 2008No Comments

After many years of hard work, Joe rewarded himself with a long, luxurious stay at an exclusive Carribean resort. While relaxing on the beach, he was surprised to see a former high school classmate who he hadn’t seen since they graduated. His old friend had been something of a “burnout” in high school, and this was the last place Joe expected to see him.Joe approached the man, and seized his hand. “Pete, it’s Joe. From high school. It’s sure been a long time. You look great! You must really be doing okay for yourself.”"I am,” whispered Pete. “I am a partner with a very successful law firm. But don’t tell mother. She got the idea that I was a drug dealer back when I was in high school, and she would be terribly disappointed if she figured out how I really make my money.”

sahilLawyer Jokes28 Jun, 2008No Comments

You seem to be in some distress,’ said the kindly judge to the witness. `Is anything the matter?’`Well, your Honour,’ said the witness, `I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.’

sahilLawyer Jokes26 Jun, 2008No Comments

|A young lawyer, starting up his private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients. When he saw the first visitor to his office come through the door, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it,” I’m sorry, but my caseload is so tremendous that I’m not going to be able to look into your problem for at least a month. I’ll have to get back to you then.” He then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, “Now, what can I do for you?” “Nothing,” replied the man. “I’m here to hook up your phone.”

sahilLawyer Jokes25 Jun, 2008No Comments

|A young attorney who had taken over his father?s practice rushed home elated one night.”Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I?ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.”"Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”

sahilLawyer Jokes24 Jun, 2008No Comments

What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?Briefs!! ha!ha!

sahilLawyer Jokes22 Jun, 2008No Comments

What’s the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician.

sahilLawyer Jokes21 Jun, 2008No Comments

What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

sahilLawyer Jokes19 Jun, 2008No Comments

What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.

sahilLawyer Jokes18 Jun, 2008No Comments