A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he asks.

“I’m having a heart attack!” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he is dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

”You bastard,” says the husband. “My wife is having a heart attack and you’re running around

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?

A pickpocket snatches your watch.

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

You might be a redneck if you lit a match in your bathroom it blew your house off its wheels!

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell bibles. So the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. But he was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment.
So after the first days of work they all met back at the church. The preacher looked at the first boy and asked him, “How many bibles did you sell?”

The boy stood up and said, “35.”

“Is that all you sold?” the preacher asked.

“He looked at the secound boy and asked him the same thing. The boy said, “75.” “That is good,” the preacher replied.

He didn’t want to ask the third boy but did. The boy with the speech impedement said ”I-I-I s-s-sold 175.” The preacher was amazed and asked the boy how did he sell all of the bibles. He said ”I-I-I t-t-told them to b-b-buy t-t-them or I will r-r-read it to t-t-them”’

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! ”

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!”

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What happened to the wooden car?

It wooden go!

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What a woman says:
“This place is a mess! C’mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you’ll have no clothes to wear.
if we don’t do laundry right now!”

What a man hears:
“blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW”

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments

What is the square root of 69?
Ate something.

adminGross Jokes25 Oct, 2005No Comments