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1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return may harvest government economists.
2. Taking of economists with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of economists with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove the dead economist to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest economists from limousines, Mercedes Benz’s, the Metro, or Porsches.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout “research contract” or “I need a policy consultant” for the purpose of trapping economists.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 100 feet of government buildings.
7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP’s to attract economists.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing rooms, libraries, whorehouses, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints.
9. If an economist is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. It will also be a shame.
10. Stuffed or mounted economists must have a DC Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female congressional aid, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting economists.

Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”
“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amy?”
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”
“Thank you, Amy” said the teacher. “What does your parent do, Billy?”
Billy proudly stood up and announced,
1. “Nothing. He’s an economist.”
2. “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.” The teacher was aghast and went to Billy’s house and rang the bell. Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy’s dad said, “I’m actually an economist. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”

Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need a whole department of them just to prepare the research grant.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an economist?
A: An offer you can’t understand.

1. Press pretty flowers.
2. Press pretty insects.
3. Use it as paper weight on your already overcluttered desk.
4. Leave out in obvious places to impress uninformed undergraduates.
5. Mail to the White House as an intimidation tactic.
6. Give it a walk-on part in a boring European existentialist play.
7. Just throw the damn thing away.
8. Leave out for the rain and other forces of nature to reckon with.
9. Read it (ha ha ha), and weep.
10. Get a refund from bookstore so you can buy weekend’s beer supply.

Q: What’s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity Cost

Q: What is a recent economics graduate’s usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries sir?

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

The new theorem was published and it aroused discussion.
English : “Can you make this theorem base on some experiences?”
German : “Can you make this theorem base on some basic theorems?”
French : “Can you make this theorem translate into French?”
Japanese : “Is your teacher a famous professor?”

Last year at the SEA meetings in Baltimore, I was in the elevator and witnessed the following: the elevator gets to the lobby, and there is a woman (economist) waiting to get in and a man (economist) waiting to get out. The woman pauses to allow the man to exit first, the man pauses to allow the woman to enter the elevator first. After a couple of seconds of just standing there, they both make a move for the door - but as each sees the other moving, they pause again to allow the other to go first. More standing still occurs until finally the door starts to close. The man in the elevator jabs his arm out at the last instant to prevent the doors from closing, and the two stumble past each other as they simultaneous switch places. The door finally closes, and as the elevator starts to move the economist is heard to say, under her breath, “Manners are never optimal.”
- Edward Bierhanzl