(Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm!
Oct
17
admin
17 Oct, 2005
Oct
17
Hello, you’ve reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe. Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone. Keep your hands, feet, extremities, and obscenities inside the car at all times. Enjoy your ride.
Oct
17
(Chekov’s voice:) Oh Keptin! It was Khan! He made us do things… Say things we did not vant to say… But we vere strong, Keptin! Ve held out until ve heard the beep…
Oct
17
Borg communications router. Unit addressed unavailable. Hails are irrelevant. Messages are irrelevant. You are irrelevant. Nonetheless, leave message if you wish. Wait for indicative, high frequency, acoustic spike… (Background:) Error, error! Wishes are irrelevant. Acoustic spikes are irrelevant.
Oct
17
(Borg voice:) WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOUR PHONE CALL, AS IT HAS BEEN, IS NOW OVER. YOUR MESSAGE WILL BE ASSIMILATED AT THE BEEP. But we’re not home right now. So leave a message and we’ll assimilate you later.
Oct
17
(Bad imitations:)
Picard: Assume standard orbit, Mr. LaForge. Sensor readings, Lieutenant?
Worf: Scanning, Captain… Strange… No life-forms.
Picard: Recommendations, Mr. Data?
Data: Intriguing, Captain. Perhaps we should simply leave a message.
Oct
17
Thank you for calling Starfleet Command. No starships are in the quadrant at this time, so at the sound of the subspace tone, tell us your name, the planet you are calling from, and how many Klingons are attacking.
Oct
17
(Star Trek theme in the background:)
(Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
(Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad’s answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number.
(Voice 3:) To boldly inform you to wait for the tone.
Oct
17
Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? — Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?
Oct
17