This lady goes to a vet and learns that that if you put a ribbon around a snoring dog’s penis he’ll roll over and stop snoring. The next night her dog is snoring so she goes to the kitchen and gets a red ribbon and ties it around her dog’s penis. His snoring stopped. Later on that night her husband is snoring and so she goes to the kitchen and gets a blue ribbon and ties it around her husband’s penis, and he stops snoring. The next morning her husband wakes up and looks at his dog and looks down at himself.

“I don’t know what happened last night, but we came in first and second.”

sahilAnimal Jokes20 Oct, 2008No Comments

“I hope I’m not poisonous,” said the first snake.

“Why?” asked the second.

“Because I just bit my lip.”

sahilAnimal Jokes19 Oct, 2008No Comments

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home.

A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a baby.” The little boy says, “Well, flip her around! I’d rather have a puppy instead!”

sahilAnimal Jokes18 Oct, 2008No Comments

Once there was a penguin whose car broke down. He took it in to get it serviced, and while it was being worked on, he went shopping.

He returned later that day to see what had happened to his car, and the mechanic told him, “It looks like you’ve blown a seal.”

The penguin, chuckling, and wiping his beak replied, “No, I’ve just eaten some ice-cream.”

sahilAnimal Jokes17 Oct, 2008No Comments

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks and sits each of them on a stool, he looks up at the bartender and says, “Could you mind my ducks while I go use the phone?” The bartender is puzzled, but he doesn’t see a problem and agrees to look after the three little ducks.

When the owner of the ducks leaves, the bartender says to the first duck “What’s your name?” The duck says, ”My name is Huey.” And the bartender, an affable fellow, especially around ducks, says, “Hello Huey, how has your day been?” “My day’s been great,” answers the duck, “I’ve been slipping in and out of puddles all day.”

Satisfied, the bartender moves to the next duck and asks the same questions. The second duck replies, “My name is Dewey and I’ve had a great day; I’ve been slipping in and out of puddles all day.” The bartender says, ”That sounds nice.”

With this the bartender moved to the third duck and thinks to himself about the first ducks’ responses, then says to the third duck, “Don’t tell me — your name’s Louie and you’ve been slipping in and out of puddles all day too.” To which the duck replies, “No. My name’s Puddles, and I’ve had a shit of a day.”

sahilAnimal Jokes16 Oct, 2008No Comments

What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?

Giant holes all over Africa!

sahilAnimal Jokes14 Oct, 2008No Comments

What do you call a turtle with an erection?

A slow poke!

sahilAnimal Jokes13 Oct, 2008No Comments

If a rooster’s on top of a barn door and lays an egg, does the egg fall on the north or the south side?

Roosters don’t lay eggs, stupid!

sahilAnimal Jokes12 Oct, 2008No Comments

What do you call a smart blonde?

A Golden Retriever.

sahilAnimal Jokes11 Oct, 2008No Comments

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!

The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER’S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER’S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER’S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.

The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

sahilAnimal Jokes10 Oct, 2008No Comments