Why did the chicken cross the road?

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
Chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road!” And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road
before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I
repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

BILL CLINTON: We categorically deny the chicken did cross the
road and any allegations to the contrary by the
right-wing extremeists should be postponed until
I am out of office.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck
was this chicken doing walking around all over
the place, anyway?”

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed = the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not Why did the chicken cross
the
road? Rather, it is, Who was crossing the road at the same
time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
crossing?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black
man.
The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and
keep
him down!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives called
into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road,
and
that was good enough for us.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive
there was.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this questions denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it
transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

sahilAnimal Jokes16 Jul, 2008No Comments

LIFE AS A FEMALE BEAR!

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing
but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat
yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean
business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake
up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy
legs and excess body fat.

I wanna be a bear.

sahilAnimal Jokes15 Jul, 2008No Comments

This penguin was having car problems, so he pulled his car into the garage for a check-up. The mechanic points at the restaurant across the street and says, “Go over there and get a bite to eat, and I’ll take a look.” The penguin does exactly as he says.

After a while he waddles back, and the mechanic is looking under the hood. The penguin asks him if he’s been able to figure out what went wrong. The mechanic glances over his shoulder and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.”

The penguin quickly wipes his mouth and says, “Oh, no, no –That’s just tartar sauce.”

sahilAnimal Jokes12 Jul, 2008No Comments

ONE DAY A MAN NAMED BOB KNOCKED ON HIS NEIGHBOR’S DOOR. HIS NEIGHBOUR WHO WAS AN OLD LADY WHO ASKED WHAT THE MATTER WAS. THE MAN REPLIED “I AM SO SORRY BUT I JUST RAN OVER YOUR CAT AND KILLED IT” THE MAN SAID “BUT I WOULD LIKE TO REPLACE IT.” THE OLD LADY THEN SAID “WELL I HOPE YOUR GOOD AT CATCHING MICE THEN”!!!

sahilAnimal Jokes11 Jul, 2008No Comments

What is the best thing to do if you find an alligator in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else!

sahilAnimal Jokes10 Jul, 2008No Comments

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out ablank form and wrote, “Woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof..woof…woof.”The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, “There areonly nine words here. You could send another ‘woof’ for thesame price.”The dog replied “What, and ruin the punchline?!”

sahilAnimal Jokes5 Jul, 2008No Comments

Two cows were talking in the field one day.First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that’s going around?Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you’re a penguin, doesn’t it?

sahilAnimal Jokes4 Jul, 2008No Comments

What’s brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the inside? A cockroach.

sahilAnimal Jokes3 Jul, 2008No Comments

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and noone is there. He looks all around and he finally sees alittle snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up andthrows it across the street into a field.Ten years go by, and one day he hears a knocking on hisdoor. He opens it up and no one is there.He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snailsitting on the doormat.The snail looks up and says, “What the hell was that allabout?”

sahilAnimal Jokes2 Jul, 2008No Comments

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guywith a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinschersays to the guy with a Chihuahua, ‘Let’s go over tothat restaurant and get something to eat.’ The guy with the Chihuahua says, ‘We can’t go in there.We’ve got dogs with us.’ The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, ‘Just follow my lead.’ They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the DobermanPinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walkin. A guy at the door says, ‘Sorry, mac, no pets allowed.’ The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, ‘You don’t understand.This is my seeing-eye dog.’ The guy at the door says, ‘A Doberman Pinscher?’ He says, ‘Yes,they’re using them now, they’re very good.’ The guy at the door says, ‘Come on in.’ The guy with the Chihuahua figures, ‘What the hell,’ so he putson a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, ‘Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.’ The guy with the Chihuahua says, ‘You don’t understand. This ismy seeing-eye dog.’ The guy at the door says, ‘A Chihuahua?’ The guy with the Chihuahua says, ‘You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?’

sahilAnimal Jokes30 Jun, 2008No Comments