What do you call a prostitute covered in tattoos?
The Scenic Root.
Oct
25
admin
25 Oct, 2005
Oct
25
“you’re in remarkable shape for a man your age,” said the doctor to the ninety-year old man after the examination.
“i know it,” said the old gentleman. “i’ve really got only one complaint-my sex drive is too high. got anything you can do for that, doc?”
the doctor’s mouth dropped open. “your what?” he gasped.
“my sex drive,” said the old man. “it’s too high, and i’d like to have you lower it if you can.”
“lower it?!” exclaimed the doctor, still unable to believe what the ninety-year old gentleman was saying. “just what do you consider ’high’?”
“these days it seems like it’s all in my head, doc,” said the old man, “and i’d like to have you lower it a couple of feet if you can.”
Oct
25
girs reaction to penis size:
9:oh shit pain
7:oh yes,oh yes
6:ohhh,perfect
5:ohmm,o.k
4:push more
3:is it in?
2:idiot,just use your tongue!
Oct
25
Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest to her grandmother’s house. She was carrying a basket full of wonderful goodies for her and her grandmother to eat… she also had a big gun to protect herself in the woods.
One day Little Red Riding Hood came upon a Fox. The fox looked at Little Red and says “Little Red Riding hood, what are you doing walking in the forest by yourself. You know if the wolf catches you he will rip your clothes off and fondle your titties.”
Little Red sighs and smiles at the fox and slowly opens her basket and shows the fox her gun and says “No he won’t, see I have a gun to protect myself.” She smiles and skips away from the fox to her grandmother’s house.
Little red gets deep within the forest when she comes upon a bear who wanders up to her and smells the yummy food in the basket then thinks to himself for a second and says, “What are you, stupid, Little Red? You know if the Wolf catches you alone in the forest he’s going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties.”
Little Red shows the bear the big gun in her basket and smiles, “No he won’t I have a big gun in my basket ….” She pulls out the gun “See, nothing can harm me.” Little Red smiles and skips to grandmother’s house.
Little red finally makes it to grandmother’s house…and knocks on the door…no one answers so she goes right in. She walks to the bed, sees the Wolf and screams as the Wolf yells, “Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties!”
The wolf reaches out to her and Little Red smiles and pulls out her gun and yells, “No you’re not! You are going to EAT ME, JUST LIKE THE BOOKS SAYS!”
Oct
25
Mr Watson was in court standing in the dock.
“mr watson i sentence you to life in prison, for throwing a pakistani of the eiffel tower”
mr watson replies “come off it judge he was only a paki”
the judge looks over the top of his glasses and replys ,
“thats not the point, you could of hit some fucker on the head with him”
Oct
25
What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a hooker with diahrrea? Well, one shucks between fits.
What’s the difference between a nun and a fat lady? One’s tryin to diet, and the other’s dyin to try it…
Oct
25
mike: so bad brad do you like yougart?
brad: ya i do what kind?
mike: throat yougart.
Oct
25
Why can’t a ghost have sex??
Because he has a hollow weenie!
Oct
25
your dad is so bald when he weres a terdle neck swetshert. It looks like a broken condem.
Oct
25
THE Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave it to you.
6. Person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.
3. Doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning. …
and the number one reason trick-or-treating is better than sex ….
1. IF YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!