Jul
9
sahil
9 Jul, 2009
Jul
9
There are three guys drinking in a pub, when another man comes in and starts drinking at the bar. After a while he approaches the group of lads, and, pointing at the one in the middle shouts ‘I’ve shagged your mum!’ The other two guys look bewildered as the man resumes his drinking at the bar. Ten minutes later he comes back and yells at the middle guy again ‘Your mum’s sucked my cock!’. And then goes back to his drink. The same thing happens, ten minutes later he’s back again and announces ‘Oi! I’ve had your mum up the arse!’. Finally the guy in the middle stands up and shouts, ‘Look, Dad, you’re pissed, now bugger off home’.
Jul
9
Jul
9
On their wedding night the new couple are just about to do the deed when the wife tells her new husband that she has a confession.
“I lied when I told you I was a virgin. I have been with one other man” she tells her new hubby.
The new husband asks if it was anyone he knows?.
The wife answers …well maybe!
Husband asks who it was.
The wife answers – it was Tiger Woods.
Since the only other person his new bride every slept with was the famous Tiger Woods, he’s not at all upset and they get down to it and do the honeymoon “thing”. When finished, the husband gets out of bed and reaches for the telephone.
“What are you doing?” asked his bride.
“I’m calling for room service. After all that work I’m hungry!”
The wife says, “Tiger wouldn’t do that.”
“Really! Just what would TIGER do?” says the husband.
Well we would do it again!
Ok says the husband and jumps into the bed.
This same thing happens two more times,after which the guy is pretty tired.
So he drags himself out of bed and gets to the telephone.
The wife says..you’re not calling room service are you!!!!
“NO, says the exhausted hubby”!
“Well who are you calling then, she asks.”
I’m calling Tiger Woods…
I want to see what par is for this hole!
Jul
9
Jul
7
Jul
7
I am including this as it has bits of trivia in it, and it is rather funny. This is an edited version of the original post along with other people’s additions. Unfortunately, I don’t know who it was that made the first version of this game (hints would be appreciated).
To play the Star Wars Drinking game, you will need:
- The Star Wars Trilogy on tape (one movie for a short game)
- An ample supply of your favorite beverage (milk, right?)
- A really good sound system, so the explosions seem to happen all around you. Kapow! (optional)
Begin by inserting your weatherbeaten “Star Wars” videotape into the big slot on your VCR. Dim the lights for dramatic effect, and play the tape. The game begins right as “20th Century Fox” appears on the screen. Once the game has begun, you watch the movie for the listed events. Every time one of them occurs, everybody takes a sip of their drink
Drink when:
- Someone has a bad feeling about this.
- It’s their only hope.
- An entire planet is described as having one climate.
- Somebody gets choked.
- a woman other than Leia is on screen
- An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force. (Vader counts.)
- Somebody’s hand gets cut off.
- A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast.
- There is a tremor in the Force.
- It’s not someone’s fault
- One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing
- A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks
- Someone exclaims “No!”
- Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea
= Twice if it’s not Han
- Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies–it counts if they change at the end
- Someone is mind-controlled using the Force
- People kiss
- A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black
= Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for uniforms, only the first person on screen counts)
= Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray
- Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen
- An elaborately made up alien has no lines
- Someone or something tries to get money from Han
- Some ship crashes into something after being hit.
- Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber)
- An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the Death Star exploded, killing billions of people. (Fourteen seconds. Count’em.)
- It is Luke’s destiny.
- Luke whines.
- Luke discovers a long-lost relative.
- Luke fights monsters or savages.
- Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip.
- Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm.
- Luke is upside-down
- Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time
= Twice if they speak to each other
- Luke’s parentage is Foreshadowed
- Luke refuses to take someone’s advice
- Luke yells “Artooooo!”
- Leia insults somebody.
- Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
= Twice if it covers her neck
= Three times if she’s almost totally nude
- Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective. (”…Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”)
- Han brags about the Millenium Falcon.
- Anybody insults the Millenium Falcon.
- Something doesn’t work on the Falcon
= Twice if it’s the hyperdrive
- Yoda uses bad grammar.
- Yoda talks like a fortune cookie.
- R2-D2 gets thrashed.
- R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around.
- C-3PO loses a body part. (Take two drinks if he is completely dismembered.)
- C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he’s familiar with
- A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white
= Twice if they’re non human (co-pilots count)
- A Rebel Pilot says “Nice Shot…”
- A Rebel Pilot says “I’ve been hit…”
- Tarkin brags about the Death Star.
- The Emperor cackles evilly.
- The Emperor has foreseen something.
- Vader runs into one of his kids and doesn’t recognize them
= Twice if he tries to kill them
- Boba Fett talks.
- Stormtroopers shoot everywhere but where they’re aiming.
- Stormtrooper armor proves useless.
- Any Imperial Ship is destroyed
- A TIE fighter explodes for no reason.
The game ends when a bunch of Ewoks start dancing. No matter what you’ve been drinking, you will remember this image. The last person to give up drinking on each cue is the winner. Of course, ties are possible. If at some point you find that no one can successfully operate the VCR anymore, the game may as well be abandoned.
Jul
7
Jul
7
What sounds do Porkey Pines make when they are kissing ? OUCH !!!!!!
Jul
7
