my brain is like a computer,
the older I get the less avaliable memory I have.
Apr
3
sahil
3 Apr, 2009
Apr
3
A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, “Oh look, a dead bird,” and the blonde looks up at the sky and goes, “Where?”
Apr
3
There were these three brothers that were very close to each other. The brothers always went to a local bar on every Friday at 5:30 on the dot.
When the brothers got married they all got married to their wifes to be on the same day and at the same place.
When the brothers moved away from each other to go on with their lives with their new wife, they all promised each other that they would still go to the bar every friday at 5:30 and drink for each other.
On the first Friday that the brothers were separated, the first brother went to a local bar and ordered three drinks. He took one sip from the first glass the took one sip from the second glass then from the third. He did this until all the beer was gone, then he paid the bartender and went home.
This kept up for about three week before the bartender finally asked why he did that. The guy explained about the promise that he had with his brothers. The bartender said that he thought that was a very good promise to keep with each other.
One day the same guy came in and asked for only two glasses of beer. The bartender thinking something awful has happened, said “I am awfully sorry about your brother.”
The guy not knowing anything about what the bartender was talking about said “What happened to him?” The bartender said that when he only ordered two drinks instead of three he thought that something awful had happened.
The brother then said “No, nothing happened to my brother, I just decided to give up alcohol.”
Apr
3
Two crows were sitting on a plough handle. Suddenly they spotted a sandwich in the field. They flew down and were delighted to find that it was Bologna! They gorged themselves and flew back to the plough for a snooze. Unfortunately they were quickly awakened by a gunshot as the farmer tried to scare away the crows in his cornfield. Our two friends tried to join the flock but fell down.
The moral of this story is, “Don’t fly off the handle when you’re full of baloney!”
Apr
1
How come Texas A&M couldn’t put on a nativity scene?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin!
Apr
1
Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Apr
1
In a murder trial, thedefense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man’s brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it’s possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
Apr
1
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave!
Apr
1
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?
You hang up a bingo sign!