Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
All major kitchen appliances come in white.
Oct
26
sahil
26 Oct, 2008
Oct
26
Gary Condit is found dead with a smile on his face. Police investigators find his scorched body and determine he had been struck by lightning.
“Why’s he smiling?” one officer asks.
The other replies, “He thought he was having his picture taken.”
Oct
26
How come the Taliban are not circumcised?
It gives them a place to put their bubblegum during a sandstorm.
Oct
26
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth — if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.
“I think I’m the smartest woman on earth.”
“POOF!” She disappears. The redhead goes up to try. p> “I think I’m the prettiest woman on earth.”
“POOF!” She disappears. The blonde goes up.
“I think–”
“POOF!”
Oct
26
Three bears came out of hibernation and they were stinky so they decided to take a bath. When they get into the bathtub, the last bear says to the first bear, ”Can I have the soap?”
The first bear says to the second bear, ”Who does he think I am — a radio?”
Did you get it??
Well you aren’t suppose to!! When you tell this to a friend get some people to laugh when you say the joke, so the friend looks stupid when they don’t get it. Sometimes they will say they get it but they can’t cause there is no point. So have fun with it.
Oct
23
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pat Buchanan answers this question: “To steal a job from a decent , hard-working American.”
Dr. Seuss answers this question: “Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why? It’s not been told.”
Grandpa answers this question: “In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.”
And Colonel Sanders answers this question: “I missed one?”
Oct
23
Two old friends/enemies who love to take the piss out of each other are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other’s bald head.
“Good God! This feels just like my wife’s ass!” The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
“So it does! So it does!”
Oct
23
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.
”So what was he doing then?” asks the physician. ”Acid? Cannabis?”
”Sort of,” replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. ”But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.”
”And what was in that?” asks the doctor.
”Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend’s spice rack.” says the hippie. ”There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.”
”Well, that explains it,” the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. ”He is in a Korma.”
Oct
23
A blonde is working as a lifeguard at a swimming pool when a girl begins to drown, screaming “Lifesaver! Lifesaver!” The blonde thinks for a moment, and then asks “Cherry or grape?”
Oct
23
A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks to himself, this isn’t right, everyone should live in peace. So he stops the bear and rabbit and tells them that if they stop chasing each other he’ll give them both three wishes.
The bear thinks for a second and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the forest were female. Poof, all of them are female. Next the rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear looks at the rabbit wondering why he would want a crash helmet.
The bear thinks for a second making sure he makes a good second wish and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the country were female. Again — poof — all the rest became female. Then the rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Now the bear steps back and looks at the rabbit in amazment. How dumb is this rabbit he thinks to himself. All he had to do was wish for money and he could buy all the motorcycles he ever wanted. This has to be the dumbest creature the bear has ever seen, he thinks to himself.
It is time for the bear’s final wish and he takes a second to think and makes sure he doesn’t waste it. After a minute he wishes that all the other bears in the whole world were female. And again poof they are all female.
Next the rabbit puts on his helmet and jumps on the bike. He turns around and smiles. Then he says, ”I wish that that bear is gay.”