Your mama’s so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
Sep
30
sahil
30 Sep, 2008
Sep
30
You might be a redneck if you have to take your hat off so your wife can fit into the truck with you.
Sep
30
A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ”Look, a dead bird.”
And the blonde looks up and says, ”Where?”
Sep
30
Three Englishmen were getting soused in a pub, when they spotted an Irishman sitting off in the corner. To have a little fun, one of them approached him.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was a sissy?”
“Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye.”
The man returned to his friends, complaining that it hadn’t worked. The second decided to try.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was a transvestite?”
“Oh, no, I dinnae know that. Thank ye.”
The second man returned to his friends, amazed that it hadn’t worked. The third man knew he had the solution.
“Did y’know that St. Patrick was an Englishman?”
“Oh, no. But that’s what y’r friends hae been trying to tell me.”
Sep
30
Why do dinosaurs have to wear hats?
So their wives know which end to kiss!
Sep
29
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn’t find his ball once he’d hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, “But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!”
His wife replied, “Yes, but his eyesight is incredible.”
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, “Do you see it?”
Ted nodded his head and said, “Boy, that was a beautiful shot!”
Joe excitedly asked, “Well, where did it land?!”
Ted said, “Hmmm. I forget.”
Sep
29
You might be a redneck if you are working at a welfare office and are arrested for stealing food stamps.
Sep
29
Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the toilet every morning?
To feed the toilet duck!
Sep
29
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, ”Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?”
Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a goose.”
And the bartender says, ”Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.”
Sep
29
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had his own drumsticks!