Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he’s going to divorce his wife.”Good grief,” says Jim, “you and Sue are the happiest couple I know! Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?”"Well,” replies Fred, “truth be known, I’m just bored with screwing the same hole night after night after night. I guess I’m hankering’ for a bit of variety.”Jim replied, “Well, if you want variety, why don’t you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?”Fred says, “What? And have a house full of kids?”

sahilLawyer Jokes29 Aug, 2008No Comments

The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision: 1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats. 2. The medical researchers don’t become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats. 3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won’t do.

sahilScience Jokes29 Aug, 2008No Comments

Teacher: If you had 20p in one trouser pocket and 60p in the other, what do you have?Pupil: Someone else?s trousers, miss.

sahilBlonde Jokes29 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: what is the irritating part around a blonde’s vagina? A1: the blonde! A2: the other guys waiting their turn.

sahilBar Jokes29 Aug, 2008No Comments

A lady was expecting the plumber; he was supposed to come at ten o’clock. Ten o’clock came and went; no plumber; eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock; no plumber.She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived.He knocked on the door; the lady’s parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, “Who is it?”He replied, “It’s the plumber.”He thought it was the lady who’d said, “Who is it?” and waited for her to come and let him in. When this didn’t happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it?”He said, “It’s the plumber!”He waited, and again the lady didn’t come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it?”He said, “It’s the plumber!!!!!!!!”Again he waited; again she didn’t come; again he knocked; again the parrot said, “Who is it?”; “Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!” he said, flying into a rage; he pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and he fell dead in the doorway.The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway, “A dead body!” she exclaimed, “Who is it?!”The parrot said, “It’s the plumber.”

sahilAnimal Jokes29 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing? A: Yes.Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car? A: Yes, sir.Q: What did she say?A: What disco am I at?

sahilLawyer Jokes23 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside? A: K9P.

sahilScience Jokes23 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a limousine?A: Not everybody has been in a limo.

sahilBlonde Jokes23 Aug, 2008No Comments

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn’t remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting. Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around. In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well. He asks the leprechaun what is going on. “Well,” says the leprechaun, “I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me.” “Well, I can guess the first one” says the guy, “Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?” “The money in the fridge?” says the leprechaun, “You asked for a cool million.” “And them out there?” asks the guy, “You said you wanted to be hung like a black man.”

sahilBar Jokes23 Aug, 2008No Comments

Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken’s bottom.

sahilAnimal Jokes23 Aug, 2008No Comments