A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?”The man says, “Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make ‘me doubles.”The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all five are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing’ all this drinking.”You’d drink ‘me this fast too if you had what I have.”The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?”The man quickly replies, “I only have a dollar

sahilBar Jokes31 Aug, 2008No Comments

A prominent young lawyer died on his way to court, and found himself before the gates of Heaven. When he arrived, a chorus of angels appeared, singing in his honor. St. Peter himself came out to shake his hand. “Mr Jones,” said St. Peter, “it is a great honor to have you here at last. You are the first being to break Methuselah’s record for longevity. You have lived 1028 years.”"What are you talking about?” asked the lawyer. “I’m 46.”"46? But aren’t you Steven Jones? The lawyer from Brooklyn”"Yes,” the lawyer answered.”Let me check the records,” said St Peter. He slapped his hand against his forehead. “Oh, how silly of us. Now I see the mistake! We accidentally calcluated your age by adding up the hours you billed to your clients!”

sahilLawyer Jokes31 Aug, 2008No Comments

Let’s face it, English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant. No ham in the hamburger. And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. And French fries were not invented in France.We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, Boxing rings are square And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth? If the teacher taught, Why didn’t the preacher praught?If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital? Park on driveways and Drive on parkways? How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day And as cold as hell on another?You have to marvel at the unique lunacy Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down. And in which you fill in a form, By filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes!English was invented by people, not computers. And it reflects the creativity of the human race. (Which of course isn’t a race at all)That is why, When the stars are out, they are visible But when the lights are out, they are invisible And it’s why when I wind up my watch, It starts. But when I wind up this poem, It ends.

sahilScience Jokes31 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?A1: Blow in her ear.A2: Buy her another beer.

sahilBlonde Jokes31 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: Why do birds fly south?A: Because it’s too far to walk.

sahilAnimal Jokes31 Aug, 2008No Comments

A plaintiff lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision. Verdict for Plaintiff! The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, and ?Justice has triumphed!” The client immediately wired back, “Appeal at once!”

sahilLawyer Jokes30 Aug, 2008No Comments

A young mother decided to host a dinner party, and invited 6 couples and their children.She worked very hard, and by the time the guests arrived, she was exhausted. When it was time to say the blessing, she asked her 5 year old daughter to say grace. To help her along, she said,” Go ahead, honey, just say what mommy does” The little girl bowed her head and prayed” Lord, why did I invite all these people?”

sahilScience Jokes30 Aug, 2008No Comments

Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?A: *Who cares?*

sahilBlonde Jokes30 Aug, 2008No Comments

Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says “So where are you from, then?”"I’m from Ireland.”"Me too! I’ll drink to that.”They both finish their pints and order two more.”Where in Ireland are you from?”"Dublin.”"Me too! I’ll drink to that.”They both finish their pints and order two more. “Where in Dublin are you from?”"The East Side.”"The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I’ll drink to that!” They both finish their pints and order two more.”Where on the East Side are you from?”"McDonagh Street.”"Me too! This is incredible! I’ll drink to that.”As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, “That’s amazing! I can’t believe they’re from the same street in Dublin. What’s going on?”"Oh, it’s nothing amazing,” says the bartender,

sahilBar Jokes30 Aug, 2008No Comments

Psychiatrist: What’s your problem?Patient: I think I’m a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

sahilAnimal Jokes30 Aug, 2008No Comments