A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit….
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here a long time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

Man: “It’s been ten years!” With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.

Man: “Oh thank you so much!”

Girl: “So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?”

Man: “It’s been ten years” The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.

Man: “Oh… thank you so much. You are like a miracle!”

Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] “So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?”

Man: “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there too?!”

sahilBody Parts Jokes, Sports Jokes29 May, 2008No Comments

What’s wrong with Lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

sahilLawyer Jokes29 May, 2008No Comments

Q: why don’t they let blondes swim in the ocean?
A: because they can’t get the smell out of the tuna.

sahilBlonde Jokes29 May, 2008No Comments

A COP WAS WATCHING THIS PARTICULAR BAR KNOWN FOR TROUBLE HOPING TO CATCH A DRUNK DRIVER. HE WAITS A LONG WHILE BEFORE HE FINALLY SEES A GUY COMES OUT. THE GUY STUMBLES OF THE TOP STEP AND FALLS FLAT ON HIS FACE. HE GETS UP STAGGERS TO A CAR, TRIES HIS KEYS FOR A WHILE BEFORE HE REALIZES IT扴 THE WRONG CAR. HE STAGGERS OVER TO ANOTHER CAR AND TRIES AGAIN UNTIL HE REALIZES IT扴 THE WRONG CAR. THIS GOES ON FOR THREE MORE CARS BEFORE HE FINALLY GETS THE RIGHT CAR, ALL THE WHILE THE COP IS WITNESSING THIS. THE COP THINKS TO HIMSELF THAT HE IS GOING TO THROW THE BOOK AT THIS GUY. THE GUY FUMBLES AROUND FOR A WHILE WITH THE KEYS, IN THE MEANTIME EVERYONE COMES OUT OF THE BAR, GETS IN THEIR CARS AND LEAVE. THE GUY FINALLY TURNS HIS CAR ON, AND PULLS OUT OF THE PARKING LOT WHERE THE COP IMMEDIATELY PULLS THE GUY OVER. THE COP PULLS THE GUY OUT OF THE, PUTS THE HANDCUFFS ON THE GUY, AND READS HIM HIS RIGHTS. THEN THE COP GIVES THE GUY A BREATHALYZER TEST, BUT IT READS 0.00, AND THE COPS SAYS “HOW CAN THIS BE?, I SAW YOU STUMBLE OUT OF THE BAR AND TRY YOUR KEYS IN SEVERAL CARS BEFORE YOU FOUND YOURS, I KNOW YOUR DRUNK.” THE GUY REPLIES, “WELL TONIGHT OFFICER, I’M THE DESIGNATED DRUNK?

sahilBar Jokes29 May, 2008No Comments

There was a man who owned a giant gorilla and he’d never left it on its own. But eventually he had to take a trip, so he left his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. He explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o’clock. But he was never ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking,

sahilAnimal Jokes29 May, 2008No Comments

A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he’d like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.

“Listen buddy,” he growled. “See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame’s all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?”

“Nah, guess not,” the man replied. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it 5 times.”

sahilSports Jokes27 May, 2008No Comments

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards.”

sahilLawyer Jokes27 May, 2008No Comments

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!

sahilBlonde Jokes27 May, 2008No Comments

These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, ”Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.”

The second guy said, ”Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.”

The third guy says, “Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.”

Then the first guy said, ”No — you guys don’t understand! Chunks are my dogs!”

sahilBar Jokes27 May, 2008No Comments

What do you get when you cross a centipede with a turkey?
Drumsticks for everybody!

sahilAnimal Jokes27 May, 2008No Comments