A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, “Do you know that you were speeding?” The man replies, “No sir, I didn’t know I was speeding.” The mans wife then yells, “Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I’ve been telling you to slow down for miles.” “SHUT UP!” the man says to his wife, “Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quiet.”

Then the cop says, “well, since I’ve got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?” “No Sir” the man replies, “I did not know that” “WHATEVER!” His wife yells, “I’ve been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!” “Shut up” the man yells to his wife again! “Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!”

Curios, the cop walks over to the woman’s side of the car and asks her, “Does he always talk to you this way?” “No” she replies, ” Only when he’s drinking!”

sahilMarriage Jokes26 Mar, 2008No Comments

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it….

Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?”

Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65.”

Cop : “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”

Blonde : “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on.”

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something awful.”

Blonde : “Oh… We just got off of highway 149…”

sahilBlonde Jokes26 Mar, 2008No Comments

A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback.

On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one leg masturbating furiously at the bar.

“For fuck’s sake!” the bloke cried, “what the hell’s going on here? I’ve been here one hour and I’ve seen a bloke shagging a sheep, and now some bloke’s wanking himself off in the bar!”

“Fair dinkum, mate,” the bartender told him, “You can’t expect a man with one leg to catch a sheep”

sahilBar Jokes26 Mar, 2008No Comments

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.

The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

sahilAnimal Jokes26 Mar, 2008No Comments

A traveling salesman from New York was traveling through Georgia around Christmas time and stopped at a convenience store next to a church.

He told the lady cashier that the nativity scene next door was really beautiful but he couldn’t understand why the three wise men had firemens helmets on.

The lady said “that’s the trouble with you yankees, you never read your Bibles or you would know.”

He said “maam, I have read my Bible through three times and I have never seen anything to explain this.”

She said, ” I will show you” and opened up her bible. ” It says right here that the three wise men came from a “far”.

sahilReligious Jokes25 Mar, 2008No Comments

A young man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing inconsolably.

“I feel terrible,” she told him. “I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes, and it’s lucky you have,” said the woman, drying her eyes. “I used them to patch the hole.”

sahilMarriage Jokes25 Mar, 2008No Comments

A lawyer was helping a poor old widow settle her husband’s estate. Upon completion of the job, he charged her $100.00. She opened her purse, and took out one of the few remaining contents - a one hundred dollar bill. After he left the attorney discovered that the bill had another $100.00 bill stuck to it.

Immediately, the lawyer was faced with an ethical dilemma - whether or not to tell his partner.

sahilLawyer Jokes25 Mar, 2008No Comments

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

sahilBlonde Jokes25 Mar, 2008No Comments

Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About five drinks.

sahilBar Jokes25 Mar, 2008No Comments

What’s the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?

Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

sahilBlonde Jokes21 Mar, 2008No Comments