You just awake, your eyes are still shut
Still cant quite focus, still draggin your butt
You know you need coffee, can taste that first sip
You wait for the maker and put the mug to your lip

The feeling is warm, just what you need
But you know you need more and its something to read
The paper you say? No, dont think so. Not it…
It’s much more exciting, you cant wait to “click”…

You boot up your ‘puter, you click that icon…
Can’t keep from grinning, you’re really turned on!
When the voice says “Welcome”, your heart skips a beat!!
You know your addicted … all the friends that you’ll meet.

And then you see it, you wait with a stare….
The mail box lights up!! “You’ve got mail” waiting there!!
OH, what a feeling!! You look with delight!
You hoped you’d have mail and you knew you were right!!

So you go thru the mail knowing this is the “Best”..
Reading this reading that … as you go thru the rest.
Some you give the “delete” key, others get your first click
You know you must hurry, you gotta be quick!

It is then that you hear it, you can’t wait to see
Your heart gets a flutter, who’s name will it be?
And then there it is, covering part of the screen
The sweet little sound … Oh, you know what that means!!!

“Quick mail check” you promised, you said in your mind.
But you just got an IM and your pressing for time!
You know that you want to and respond you will
So you stop what your doing and go for the thrill!

You “LOL” and “BRB”, give kisses and Hugs…
You type and send words, refilling your mug
You give your good friend your attention and time
So that quick little mail check turns to hours online!

sahilComputer Jokes28 Sep, 2007No Comments

Q: Why did the blonde hold on to a sandpaper when she was walking through the desert?

A: She thought it was a map!

sahilBlonde Jokes28 Sep, 2007No Comments

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed maths, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a maths question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and give me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then answered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming…, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

Two rival cricketers were talking.
‘The local team wants me to play for them very badly.’
‘Well, you’re just the right man for the job.’

sahilSports Jokes28 Sep, 2007No Comments

Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue
Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. Resistance to Beer

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You, The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb

16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please

17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat

18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies

19. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost

20. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency

21. Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes

22. Mother-in-Laws Are People Too

23. The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous

24. How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

25. You Too Can Be A Designated Driver

26. Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home

27. Attainable Goal - Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary

28. You Don’t Really Need That Porsche
Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue
Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting The Impulse To Nag

2. You Can Change The Oil Too

4. How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug

5. We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas

6. Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness

7. How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football

8. Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around

9. How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop

10. How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right

11. Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself

12. Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right

13. Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility

14. You, The Whining Sex

15. Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours

16. If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother

17. How To Close The Garage Door

18. If You Don’t Want An Excuse, Don’t Demand An Explanation

19. How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia

20. Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank

21. Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation

22. How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself

23. Why You Don’t Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend

24. Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous

25. How To Act Younger Than Your Mother

26. You Too Can Carry A Backpack

27. Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most

28. Learning To Appreciate The Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

29. Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving

30. How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste

sahilMarriage Jokes28 Sep, 2007No Comments

A ventriloquist was making fun of rednecks with his dummy at a bar. Then an angry redneck stood up, rolled up his sleeves ,and yelled, “I resent that!”
The ventriloquist started apologizing to the redreck.

The redneck looked at him and said, ” You stay outta this, I”m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!

sahilRedneck Jokes28 Sep, 2007No Comments

India was playing a match at Wankhede stadium. An Indian cricket fan, whose wife was having a delivery on the same day, decided to watch the match and visit his wife later on in the hospital.

The match began, two quick wickets fell and the fan was disappointed. He remembered his wife, picked up the phone and quickly dialed a number.

He wanted to call the hospital but accidently called up the stadium, he asked the man on the other end thinking him to be the doctor “so what’ the result?”

The man replied “It’s still in process, two are out nine are left and the last one was a duck1”.

sahilSports Jokes27 Sep, 2007No Comments

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software - 20 minutes.

2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.

3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.

4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1 minute.

5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like - 4 days.

6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again - 25 minutes.

7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do - 15 minutes.

8. View the source of others’ pages, steal some, change a few words here and there - 4 hours.

9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.

10. Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.

11. Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.

12. Set the text’s font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone - 4 hours.

13. Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.

14. Try to figure out why your counter reads “You are visitor number -16.3 E10″ - 3 hours.

15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.

16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP - 40 minutes.

17. Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.

18. Recreate your web page - 2 days.

19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP’s server - 3 weeks.

20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.

21. Download FTP software - 10 minutes.

22. Call your friend again - 15 minutes.

23. Upload your web page to your ISP’s server - 10 minutes.

24. Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.

25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity

sahilComputer Jokes27 Sep, 2007No Comments

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

sahilBlonde Jokes27 Sep, 2007No Comments

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.

“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”

“Probably that I married you for your money.”

sahilMarriage Jokes27 Sep, 2007No Comments

You kick his sister in the chin.

sahilRedneck Jokes27 Sep, 2007No Comments