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May 1
Christian Education

My son, Mike, a kindergartner, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom have been displayed for all to see.

One morning while getting ready for the day, Mike bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: “G”-”O”-”D”

“Look what I spelled, Mom!” Mike exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.

“That’s wonderful!” I praised him. “Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight.” That Christian education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily.

Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. “Mom? How do you spell ‘zilla?’”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Sunday School

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across safely. The he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”

“Now, Joey, is that REALLY what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.

“Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it.”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Girls will adapt

While watching my six-year-old daughter play with her cars and trucks, I prided myself on having raised her to play outside the confines of gender restrictions that had always frustrated me as a child. Beaming, I asked her about her game.

“Well,” she answered innocently, “the big truck is the daddy, this car is the mommy, and the little car is the baby.”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Sleepovers

When a little girl named Amanda was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Kevin, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end.

One night, when Kevin and his family were visiting, everyone gathered around the television to watch the Miss America pageant. When Amanda asked if Kevin could stay over, the parents hesitated, wondering if the time had finally come to end the tradition.

At that moment, the pageant host announced a contestant’s measurements: 36-22-36.

“Kevin,” his mom asked, “what are those numbers?”

The boy thought for only a moment before answering, “Ninety-four?”

Kevin got to spend the night.

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Sent from Heaven

A woman brought her 4-month-old baby to visit her neighbor. The baby began to fuss soon after they arrived.
The 5-year-old son of the neighbor she visited said, “Where did you get him?”

“He was sent from Heaven,” the mother replied.

As the infant continued to cry and yell, the little boy said, “I bet I know why he was sent from Heaven. God wanted it quiet up there!”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Be Like Jesus

Seeing her two sons fighting over the last piece of pizza the mother said,
“You boys should be acting more like Jesus, if He were here He would give His brother the last piece”

The older brother looked at his younger sibling and said,
“Marty, you be Jesus”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Listen to your mother

My wife told our 5 year old to put on clean underwear everyday, and he did just as he was told.
At the end of the week, he had on 7 pairs.

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “Are you sure he’s out there?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, “Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Scared of a Little Storm

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

adminParent Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments
May 1
Does it Hurt?

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”

“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?” she asks.

“Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”

“Like this?”

“A little more…”

“Like this?”

“No. A little more…”

“Like this?”

“Yes. Does that hurt?”

“A little bit.”

“Now stretch it over your head!”

adminMedical Jokes1 May, 2007No Comments